My first year living on a college campus was 2001. I was excited to be living on campus and had imagined my experience to be exactly what I'd watched on Dawson's Creek (so, I'm dating myself). New friends; a cool room; no parents. My new campus life was going to be perfect and, for the first few weeks, it was.
A few weeks into the semester, my roommate started dating a guy in her English class. He was nice, so I told her it wasn't a problem for him to visit but he was ALWAYS in our room. He'd come early on the one morning I was able to sleep in; stay late to play video games when I had a test the next morning. It really started to get irritating, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be mean. Her boyfriend was nice, so why should I complain?
The fact that I didn't say anything finally blew up in my face. I'd held in my feelings for so long that I lost it one afternoon when I came home to find him lounging on my bed. After my little tantrum, my roommate and I talked about the issue and she pointed out one very important point: I had never told her what I was feeling.
I should have spoken up about how I felt, or initiated a conversation about what boundaries we would have when dealing with guests and personal space. It wasn't that I didn't like him, but who doesn't want some space and personal time in their own room.
I tell you my story in hopes that you'll learn from my experience. Talk to your roommate(s). Set some boundaries. Discuss guests, study habits, cleaning responsibilities, when you like to sleep, how loud you like your music, what food you can (and can't) help yourself to, your favorite television show schedules and who gets dibs on the TV.
You'd be amazed at the little things that can get under your skin if you never talk about them and most of them can be avoided by simply having a conversation. A little respect, communication and compromise can go a long way in a roommate relationship!
If you're feeling a little intimidated or don't know how to approach that conversation, your Resident Assistant will be able to help you. At your first floor meeting, you'll get information for how to start roommate conversations and they can guide you through sticky situations and give you tips on how to handle your concerns.
My RA helped my roommate and I quite a bit after having my initial tantrum and I realized that it's okay to have different styles/personalities/approaches - as long as you're clear and communicate. :)
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